12/15 – There is one of these sponsored banners on Red Adept’s blog today. The banner, clearly labeled as sponsored advertising appears after her post for the day. If you click on the banner, you go to the book’s Amazon page. Then there is also a (more…) link, and if you click on that, you go to the excerpt. It’s a nice feature, and while I suspect a western historical won’t get a lot of clickers on a non-romance review blog, this undoubtedly has been good practice for something lurking in my future.
I took the post with the excerpt no one liked down. Since Paige said it wouldn’t get her to buy the book in such an adamant fashion that I suspect she meant it would cause her not to buy the book, I figure disappearing it wouldn’t hurt. I also suspect people who don’t wish me or my books well still monitor this site, and having a one-star review pop up for Eyes suspiciously soon after I posted that it had always had a 5-star rating rather confirmed that paranoid thought.
I have a question, though. Everybody seems to like the First excerpt. I like it myself, especially where it ends. However, I have to wonder – if a bit that refers to the menstrual cycle is off putting, isn’t that reference to spilling the chamberpot without context equally off putting? That’s my reservation about First.
12/14/10 – Okay, I went through the book and tried again. Nothing I tried in Chapter 2 made me happy with where an excerpt had to begin and where it had to end to encompass 750 words. If the allowance was 1,000 words… but it’s not. So I came up with the following four, and rather than print the whole book here in excerpts, I’m just giving the beginning, a sort of summary of the middle, and the end of each one. They’re in the order they appear in the book.
Page numbers may not match what you beta readers have since I edited quite a bit after your reads.
Chapter 4, page 21
Kindle Location 285
As [the lieutenant’s] body fell, Sarah tried to push herself even farther back into the fireplace. She was alone, the only sounds those of the Indians outside, beating on the door and windows to break through. Except….
*** This is where Sarah watches Matt zip around, taking things from bodies, shooting out the loopholes, and locating the hidey hole. He then grabs her and shoves her in the hole, closes them in, and holds her with his hand over her mouth because she can’t stop making sounds of distress. ***
Sarah shook her head violently from side to side. In the dark, the distinctive sounds as he drew back the hammer on the pistol tore across her nerves and left her quivering. The empty iron cuff and chain hanging from his wrist fell across her shoulders, and the barrel of the gun pressed under her chin.
“Me neither,” he said. “Now, sssh.”
Chapter 5, page 29
Kindle Location 407
He was right that knowing the dreadful smell was part of why she was still alive made it more bearable. So did the fact she couldn’t think of anything other than whether there was still a way out of this terrible grave.
*** This covers the time in the hole from when Sarah decides she doesn’t want to talk any more until they’re out, she takes a good look at Matt and is still frightened of him, and he tells her they have to find another better hiding place. ***
“Jake and Alvaro left in the middle of the night, keeping themselves nice and safe, I expect. So right now they’re all meeting up again to parcel out the spoils. And sooner or later, somebody’s going to say, ‘Too bad those two women were dead when we got inside.’ And Alvaro’s going to say, ‘What do you mean two? There were three.’ Or maybe Jake’s going to say, ‘Did you have fun with that one fellow all chained up and waiting for you?’ And some Comanche is going to say, ‘What are you talking about. Nobody was chained up.’ What do you think they’re going to do then?”
Chapter 34, page 237
Kindle Location 3252
As they approached the store, more and more people filled the sidewalk. Sarah called Laurie back and took her hand. The freighters had delivered more goods than just bolts of cloth, and the whole town seemed to be going to, coming from or already in Michel’s store. A tall, lean man in Levis and a faded blue shirt walked out of the store. Something about the way he moved, the way he was built…. Matt.
*** This is, of course, the scene where Matt and Sarah see each other again for the first time in 8 years. ***
Matt shrugged Jimmy off. He needed to see more of Sarah and of the little girl who leaned into her skirts and met his searching gaze curiously. Gradually he became aware of the tenor of the scandalized, half-frightened conversations around him, and then Beau seized him by the shoulders.
“What the hell’s gotten into you? I’ve never seen you act like such a damn fool. Move!”
Chapter 41, page 306
Kindle Location 4283
Matt got up. He moved not toward the center table, but to the counter, reached around and picked up the coffee pot as if he’d been doing it every day for years. The sound of his walk sent a shiver all the way down Sarah’s spine. His spurs hissed with each step.
*** This is, of course, the coffee pot scene. It’s another one where if only the allowance was 1,000 words.***
Their backs were towards her, and Sarah could only imagine their expressions. Banker Thompson returned to the table and threw down a few bills, then started for the door again. Matt didn’t move.
“And I suppose in those fancy places fellows like you never walk out without leaving a smart sum extra on the table for the waitress,” Matt said. “I figure no matter what happens, you want to make sure everybody knows how generous you are. Am I wrong about that?”